The solution for your "Empty Net Misses!"

Nathan MacKinnon missed an empty net scoring opportunity playing for Team Canada in the 2026 Olympic Olympic Gold Medal Game. Playing in a gold medal game may not be your everyday experience. It has some increased intensity for sure, but here's the point: we all miss empty nets... and then we all ruminate on the opportunity we missed.

MacKinnon is one of the greatest goal scorers in NHL history; 9 out of 10 times, in this situation, he buries the puck. But the tendency of our minds is to downplay the 9 times we easily score and ruminate instead on the one empty net we missed. Our human tendency is to think back on the one that we should have had.

Our empty net misses might not happen on the ice; they might be bad past decisions that look so much easier in the current rear view mirror. Perhaps they are the words we could have easily changed before we said them to our boss or our spouse. These empty net misses are often past mistakes that have been intensified by an over-active Past-Negative focus.

Over time, our empty nets tend to get wider, don't they? Our language gets louder, too. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT!"

In in our Thinking Tendency Model, we call this area of rumination, Past-Negative Thinking. (Contact us to get a guided tour of how our mindset model works).

Past-Negative Thinking is the place where our minds collect all of our misses, losses, and regrets. Past-Negative Thinking is where we keep our past missed empty nets alive. "I should have done this." "If only I would have..." "This was so easy, why didn't I...?" Empty net misses sting because these are the easy goals that we should have scored.

Past-Negative rumination can provide a lifetime of self-inflicted negativity, but there is some good news... one question can change everything!

What did I learn from that?

During our leadership development training sessions, Jenn and I love challenging leaders to enhance their people's growth by turning this power question towards others. Asking, "What did you learn from that?" can powerfully highjack negative rumination during Past-Negative conversations. Leaders, the "What did you learn from that?" question is a game-changer in guiding dialogue away from blame, shame, and disappointment, towards learning, solutions, positive next steps, and increased Future-Positive energy.

The first step to intentionally leading conversational energy is to be aware of when the conversation is taking on a Past-Negative tone. The second step to influencing increased positivity during client or cultural conversations is to apply the power question: "Let me ask you what personal learning came out of this situation?"

This one question — What did you learn from that? — turns Past-Negative rumination/conversations into Future-Positive action.

Author Bob Tiede agrees that "that this one question is one of the most powerful questions that you will ever ask yourself and others. Bob Tiede also says: "Winners don't just move on - they learn on!"

We like to put it this way:

"What did you learn from that?" transitions people away from just coming to work and towards coming to WIN!

By the way, Nathan MacKinnon is such an amazing professional that he has probably internalized this power question, practiced one-timing pucks into the empty net, and is looking forward to scoring on his next empty net opportunity!

So can you!

Connect with me now!